I’m so tired….. So much has happened tonight…. I can’t believe two people I care about so much care so little about themselves. It’s heartbreaking… It makes me feel like I’ve aged 30 years within a matter of seconds…. I just want everyone in the world to be happy…. That’s all I want… Everyone matters. We are all connected. Doing something small affects everyone. Just like one tree being cut down affects all the other trees and all the little plants and animals…. We humans are no different. Why can’t no one see this? All I want to do is curl up on Josh’s lap and be held. I just want to be held and told that everything will be fine and that I can do this…. I’m not superwoman…. I’m only human and I can only do so much…..I know things are going to be turning up now but there’s a long journey ahead. I just want daddy to fill my bucket up again…. I want him to pet my hair and hum the lullaby I love in my ear…. I wish he came home like he said he would because right now I need to know its okay to cry. #8230;..